The baby sister who would be king

These are difficult days for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. It may all seem like happiness, sunshine and emerging looking immaculate to face the photographers but, as anyone who has been there can tell you, having a second child brings its own special problems. They have stressed continually their desire to give their children as much of a normal life as possible so, as one who has been round the second-child assault course, I feel able to offer a few helpful tips.

Of course, the shock will be nothing like as immense as it was the first time around. Like all second-time parents, the Cambridges will feel more confident in their judgment, able to push back on unnecessary worry. We, for example, eased up on our obsession with organic food. This can save you a surprising amount of money and time. Duchy Originals can be hard to get hold of.

But the second child does present new challenges. The most formidable may be the response of their older sibling. Like any child who is used to having all of his parents' attention, Prince George may feel a little destabilised by the new arrival. It is important for his mother to make special time for her son, to reassure him that he is still going to be king. A wise parent will also make sure that visitors coming with gifts for the new baby also bring something for him, like a small piece of Scotland, perhaps.

Another wise use of time is working to bring the older sibling into the excitement, to make him feel part of the process. Anything that helps the older child feel invested in the new arrival will ease tensions and jealousies later. This is especially important in royal families. It is well known that Edward IV's mother utterly failed to ensure her sons bonded at the start. All that drowning his brother in Malmsey wine business might so easily have been avoided had she just given Edward a little more mother/son time in those early months. It requires a bit more planning but, frankly, it is perfectly manageable. The younger of our spawn is now 12 and, while there have been the odd cross words, they have never shown any desire to submerge each other in dessert wine. Worry not, Cambridges; it can be done.

Every family has its own way of encouraging the older child to buy into the new arrangements. Ours was to invite our son to choose the new baby's name. We cannot know if the royals went down this route but we do advise anyone considering it to limit the choice to an approved shortlist - otherwise people may think you outsourced the job to Gwyneth Paltrow.

As the new child grows, the Cambridges will notice that it may well define itself in opposition to the older sibling. Their new baby, for instance, has chosen to be a girl. It is important to embrace these differences; it is all too easy for a second child to feel neglected or less loved, especially when she knows big things await her older brother. They must avoid "empty baby book" syndrome; that sense that you have taken fewer photos and shown less interest in number two. Happily, in this case there are any number of freelancers ready to step in. All that is needed are a few public appearances to secure the required snaps.

Similarly, go easy on the hand-me-downs. The coronation robes may be super but she will want something of her own; and no one's wearing Norman Hartnell these days. A few old romper suits may be fine but why not pop into Gap and get something from their baby range?

Mum will also have to consider how much to rely on the previous generation for help. A growing number of youngsters are now being raised by their grandparents as the parents get back to the daily grind of opening things and charitable appearances. In many cases, the grandparents are having to sacrifice their own life and career ambitions to help their children. This would be particularly harsh on the Prince of Wales, who has already waited long enough for his moment.

[email protected]; Twitter: @robertshrimsley

Illustration by Lucas Varela

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