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Tragic Dave Goldberg stood for Silicon Valley's nurturing side

Silicon Valley got a taste of its own mortality this week.

Last Friday's death of Dave Goldberg, a successful entrepreneur, in a tragic accident, prompted tears and thoughtful reflection across Northern California. Goldberg, who was chief executive of SurveyMonkey but better known to the wider world as the husband of Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg, was just 47.

Tech and entertainment royalty overwhelmed his Facebook page and turned out in force for a memorial service on Tuesday at Stanford University. HP's Meg Whitman, LinkedIn's Jeff Weiner and Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg were among the 1,700-person throng, as were actor Ben Affleck and movie producer George Lucas. Bono sang, and Disney rescheduled its earnings call so that chief executive Bob Iger could attend. Even Barack Obama, the US president, described himself as "heartbroken". My own Facebook feed was also flooded, because we were college classmates, though acquaintances rather than friends.

Goldberg is not the first prominent tech executive to die relatively young. Apple founder Steve Jobs passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2011 at the age of 56. But, in Silicon Valley terms, Jobs was an elder statesman and had been on medical leave for most of the year before his death. By contrast, Goldberg's unexpected death hit like a bolt of lightning. Authorities have said he died of head trauma and blood loss after falling off a treadmill while on holiday with his family in Mexico.

His death also hit hard because he represented Silicon Valley as it would like to be: highly talented, but also unpretentious, nurturing and truly meritocratic. He founded his first company at 26, took it public and sold it to Yahoo. For the past six years, he headed SurveyMonkey, helping it to grow and become worth more than $1bn. At a time when some tech valuations appear to be based on hype, Goldberg's decidedly unsexy company was consistently profitable.

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>Goldberg was also remarkable for his attitude toward family and marriage. Though he was a raging success by any measure, Ms Sandberg is a national phenomenon because of her book Lean In, about career choices for professional women. Where some men might have sulked at being overshadowed, Goldberg backed his wife to the hilt, encouraging her to ask Mr Zuckerberg for more money when she was moving to Facebook from Google. Ms Sandberg has told young women: "The most important career choice you'll make is who you marry. I have an awesome husband."

In an industry where living at work is the norm, Goldberg also stood out for his efforts to spend time with his children. He routinely went home for crucial early evening quality time, and would go back out for work dinners or send out emails from home.

Similarly, Goldberg's strong advocacy for gender equality also provided a break for an industry under fire for the dearth of successful women. Ellen Pao lost her recent gender discrimination lawsuit against a local venture capital firm, but the evidence highlighted what many see as casual bias in the sector.

The tech sector has gone back to work. But I can't forget an essay that Goldberg wrote last autumn after conducting a survey of classmates ahead of our 25th reunion. In it, he said: "The real lessons about who we are and what's important happen after school and work. So get out. Live a little. Take it all in . . . You'll learn more than you expect."

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