The right to worktops: an election issue

It was only when I saw Ed Miliband taking flak for the quality of his kitchen that I realised I needed to pay attention to ours. Until his "two kitchens" scandal I had been content to stay out of all discussions on the upgrading of our own and leave my wife as project manager and brand champion.

She was the architect of the new kitchen strategy and, having accepted the case for a refurbishment and stopped arguing about cost, I was struggling to summon any interest in the details. Aside from questionable judgment in men, she has shown good taste, and so I left the issue to her. It isn't that I don't use the kitchen or that I don't care. It is that I don't care enough. When I did manage to dredge up an opinion I sensed that my input was not wholly welcome. When someone puts a lot of work into something, criticism is not always seen as constructive. This is probably why the answer to an inquiry such as "Why do we need a dedicated space for trays that we don't possess?" tends to be "Do you want to talk to some kitchen suppliers?" So, since I didn't, there seemed to be a clear division of labour.

But then came the election: every political leader was being filmed in their kitchen and all of a sudden I grasped that the calibre of our cookhouse was a statement about me; a matter of strategic significance and not one an engaged householder can opt out of. It goes to the essence of our brand as a family; it separates the granite worktops from the shallow laminates. The tray issue was one of cardinal consequence. We had to consider what it said about us, other than that we are the kind of people who have tray racks installed.

It was clear that the kitchen campaign needed joint co-ordinators. The demarcation lines were reasonably clear. She would do all the hard work and I would intermittently glance at the plans and say something like, "What kind of colour is sage?" I can see how this might be irritating but sometimes you need that degree of detachment to be able to focus on the big picture.

Naturally, we have looked to the political parties for guidance but, frankly, we have been disappointed. They are all happy to pose in front of the draining board for photo opportunities but not one of the leaders' kitchens appears to have been independently costed by the Institute for Fiscal Studies. I'm sure this helps explain the high degree of disengagement in this election. After the emphasis placed on their good housekeeping, we were looking for some vision. We have big decisions to take and I am not merely talking about blended acrylic versus quartz aggregate. After the Miliband saga, are we still comfortable, for example, about having only one kitchen? Should we turn one of the bedrooms into a second kitchen that we never use? We could, of course, simply pretend to have a second kitchen that we never use but we believe visitors are tired of broken promises. They want a new kind of culinary conversation.

There are other high-level decisions to consider. Ought we to be looking at an island kitchen? This has long been a strategic goal but space constraints and the state of our finances probably mean that we can offer only a commitment in principle at this time. But we do need to indicate that it is part of our long-term economic plan. Then again, does an island kitchen say that we are sophisticated householders and people of consequence, or merely that we once watched Nigella? The questions stack up. Do shaker kitchens really project honesty and simplicity? And are they compatible with pullout larders?

We are looking to occupy the culinary centre ground, eschewing sterile metallic surfaces and channelling hot coffee and warm rolls rather than iced water and cold comfort. We still have some work to do. Then again, we don't want to get so homely that people think we've joined the Greens. We are not quite there yet but we are now a united team focused on the big picture. I'm not expecting Tom Bradby to pop round with an ITN camera crew but if he does, we'll be ready.

[email protected]; Twitter: @robertshrimsley

Illustration by Lucas Varela

© The Financial Times Limited 2015. All rights reserved.
FT and Financial Times are trademarks of the Financial Times Ltd.
Not to be redistributed, copied or modified in any way.
Euro2day.gr is solely responsible for providing this translation and the Financial Times Limited does not accept any liability for the accuracy or quality of the translation