Sir John rides in to rescue UK from rebellious north

Suddenly, into a campaign that is turning nasty without ever having got passionate, in stepped Britain's best-loved living former prime minister. The only others being Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, this is not a controversial statement.

As of now, Sir John Major has even less competition as the best-loved living Conservative ex-PM, though he might have a rival very soon.

To prevent that happening, Sir John, who has largely stayed away from elections since he lost one very badly 18 years ago, decided now was the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party. Even more important, he wanted to ride to the rescue of the United Kingdom, which he perceives to be threatened again by the rebellious northern tribes.

He did not ride into their heartlands to confront them, however. He did not offer to debate Nicola Sturgeon on the ramparts of Edinburgh Castle or a public bar in Sauciehall Street. Instead he spoke in the most Majorish setting imaginable: a tennis and cricket club at the posh end of Birmingham. Solihull, to be specific: one of the "invincible green suburbs" (a phrase he popularised himself). At least it was invincible until the Tories managed to lose it to a Lib Dem in 2010.

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His tone was, as ever, courteous and mostly gentle, with occasional rasps and growls. Just once, for old time's sake, he slipped in one of those Majorish words that no one else has used since Victorian novels went out of fashion. Someone mentioned TV debates. "I am not sure it is the best way to choose whomsoever should lead the country," he replied.

Throughout, he stuck to the strategy that has helped guard his reputation in retirement. Say little - except for fat fees far from home, and do that very discreetly. And never annoy your successors. He saw what sulking Ted Heath did to Margaret Thatcher, and in turn suffered the same from her.

His speech had nothing but praise for David Cameron. It might have been written in Central Office if anyone there were capable of hitting the right note of measured politeness. Unfortunately that led Sir John into the same logical thicket that has ensnared the current Tory leadership.

<>"The SNP is a real and present danger to our future as a nation," he said. "A recipe for mayhem," he added. "Their tactic is to drive a wedge between England and Scotland probably on an industrial scale. They will ask for the impossible to create merry hell if they don't get their way." And all in the merry, merry month of Mayhem.

He did not pause to consider whether the Conservative party's own attitudes towards Scotland over the past 40 years, his own included, might have played some role in the current situation. The former Liberal leader Lord Steel had earlier said on the radio, not unaffectionately: "John has never understood Scotland."

And understanding does not seem to be imminent in Downing Street even now. Whomsoever wins the election.

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